My longest relationship has been with my vape. At first, this chemical romance felt like some sort of performance, a cosplay of my Greek life peers at school, who seem perpetually surrounded by clouds of Blueberry Mint. Later, while ignoring my rather obvious addiction, I tricked myself into believing smoking was a decompressing, peaceful act, absorbing the cultural narrative that this little device embodied the nihilistic style of our modern generation. The reality: smoking is kind of gross. There’s premature aging, the smell, the constant headaches and rapid heartbeats, and, of course, the fact that it’s literally killing me. I love the feeling, but it does not love me back.
As the world’s leading cause of preventable premature mortality, smoking is scientifically proven to be a vice without virtue. By definition, a vice is a bad habit or a weakness of character. But even if you don’t smoke, it would be a stretch to claim you’re a poster girl or guy for wellness. I know we all find joy in a plethora of other guilty pleasures.
The F-Bomb
Take cursing, for instance, which was dropped 162 times, or an average of once every 8 seconds, in a single South Park episode. Despite having parents who are chill about profanity, in my head, swearing still feels taboo. I find myself censoring my language in class, interviews, and in front of a friend’s parents. Sometimes, though, cursing fits the moment perfectly, bringing an intense feeling of liberation. With good intentions, profanity has the power to express otherwise indescribable emotions.
Gossip Sessions
During the pandemic, rather than expressive words, it was small talk we craved: gossip. While gossip can be harmful to those who are its subject, it can also foster intimacy between new friends or warn us about toxic people. I can’t count the number of times a mutual gossip session has brought me closer to some of my girlfriends. While it’s a morally gray area, it isn’t entirely without value.
Desire
Then, of course, there’s lust — an overwhelming sexual craving. Society has long blamed women for wanting to enjoy sexual pleasures outside a long-term relationship, while boys are allowed to be boys, indulging freely. They get to embrace their vice while we, as women, are often held back.
Fast Food
When I’m hungover on the weekend, nothing sounds better than a burger and fries. But with TikTok’s “health” jury, there seems to be no room in my diet for a simple McDonald’s pleasure. I feel like Nikocado Avocado every time I open a packet of ramen noodles. This polarizing approach on social media has created an “all or nothing” mentality: it’s either “This is awful” or “This is amazing.” Eating ramen shouldn’t be an act that fills me with guilt and stress. I could just enjoy my cheap ramen, knowing it isn’t the healthiest but still having a positive experience.
Maybe, then, it’s time to give up on giving up everything — except smoking, perhaps. Everyone has a guilty pleasure or vice that isn’t so bad; it just isn’t widely accepted in everyday society. As long as we aren’t doing, saying, or consuming something that’s truly harmful, we’ll be okay. Sometimes, our vices don’t need an all-or-nothing mentality. Embrace the mindset of, “F it, why not?”
Except smoking. Definitely consider giving up smoking… maybe.
– Gracie
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